Discernment Counseling in
St. Louis Park & Minneapolis
When one of you wants to stay and the other isn't sure, discernment counseling helps you figure it out.
Decide whether to keep doing what you're currently doing, separate or work on the relationship.
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1-5 sessions
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Structured and short-term
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Clarity before couples therapy
In-person in St. Louis Park, Mn and online throughout Minnesota and Wisconsin
You don't necessarily want a divorce.
You just don't know if you can stay.
Maybe you have been unhappy for years.
Maybe your spouse has asked for a divorce.
Maybe you're the one who has started thinking:
"I don't know if I want to be married anymore."
Maybe you've already talked about separation.
Maybe you've even talked to an attorney.
Or maybe things aren't that bad. You still love each other.
You still have good days.
But that's what makes this so damn hard.
You can love someone and still wonder whether the marriage is right for you.
You can want your marriage to work and still feel completely exhausted.
You can be considering divorce and still not be ready to end your marriage.
You are allowed to be uncertain.
Discernment Counseling gives you a place to slow down, understand what's happening, and figure out what comes next.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a specialized, short-term form of relationship counseling for couples who are uncertain about the future of their marriage.
The goal is not to immediately fix the marriage.
The goal is clarity.
Together, we'll explore three possible paths.
1. Keep doing what you're currently doing.
Most people know this is the path they can't stay on. It's what is leading to do discernment counseling in the first place. The living in limbo is making them miserable. But for some people, this is what they choose to do after discernment counseling because of some other factors. So then we create a plan for how we can make this less miserable, and more sustainable, until something else shifts.
2. Move towards separation or divorce.
This might be moving fully towards divorcing, or maybe a trial separation, or something in between. I help you figure this out and design next steps based on your unique circumstances.
3. Stay and work on the marriage, for a time, and then reassess.
You decide you want to give the relationship a genuine effort and move into couples therapy with a clear understanding of what needs to change. Here's where this is different, you also give this work a timeline. Usually 3 or 6 months. And then reassess how much progress has been made.
My job is to help you figure out which path you are going to take.
Is this different from couples counseling?
Yes, and this distinction matters.
Traditional couples counseling generally begins with the assumption that both people want to work on the relationship.
But what if you aren't there yet?
What if one spouse says:
"I want to save our marriage."
and the other says:
"I'm not even sure I want to be married."
That's a mixed-agenda relationship, and traditional couples therapy may not be the best first step.
Discernment Counseling:
The question:
"Should we work on our marriage or separate?"
Focus:
Clarity, understanding, accountability, and decision-making.
Length:
Short-term, between 1-5 sessions.
vs. Couples Counseling:
The question:
How can we improve our marriage?
Focus:
Communication, conflict, intimacy, connection, and relationship change.
Lenth:
Ongoing.
If you're not sure whether you even want to work on the marriage, discernment counseling may be the better place to start.
Discernment counseling may be right for you if...
You're leaning out.
You've been thinking about divorce or separation and aren't sure whether you want to keep trying.
You're spouse is leaning out.
You desperately want to save the marriage, but your spouse isn't sure they want to stay.
You're both confused.
Neither of you knows what the right answer is anymore.
You've been struck for months or years.
You've had the same conversations, made the same promises, and ended up in the same place.
You're considering divorce but don't feel completely certain.
You don't need someone to convince you to stay.
You don't need someone to tell you to leave.
You need the space to think clearly.
What happens in discernment counseling?
It's structured. It's focused. And it's different from traditional therapy to get different results.
The session is broken into 3 different parts.
1. We all three start together.
We'll look at your relationship from a bird's-eye view.
I'll ask you both specific questions that cover:
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how your relationship began
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what brought you together
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what changed
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the patterns you've developed
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what has brought you to this point
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what each of you wants now
2 & 3. We each meet one-on-one.
I'll spend individual time with each of you.
This gives you space to look honestly at your own experience and role in the relationship. I help you name the patterns and help you create clear communication to your partner.
This isn't about assigning blame.
It's about understanding.
At the end, we will wrap-up by talking about what has been decided so far, next steps, and your options moving forward.
You leave with clarity and a plan.
How many sessions will we need?
Discernment counseling is intentionally short-term.
Most couples make a decision in 1-3 sessions, but you have up to 5 sessions to decide.
Some couples know after one session what they want to do.
Others need several sessions to work through the decision.
Both are right for each couple.
The goal is getting you unstuck as a couple and making a decision with a plan you can stand behind.
Meet Corrin Voeller, LMFT
A therapist for those stuck in the middle.
I'm Corrin Voeller, a licensed marriage and family therapist in St. Louis Park, Minnesota.
I've spent more than a decade working with people navigating complicated relationships, marriage problems, separation, divorce, and major relationship decisions.
My approach is direct, compassionate, and practical.
I'm not interested in keeping you stuck in therapy indefinitely.
I want you to understand what's happening, figure out what you actually want, and make meaningful moves towards the life you want.
Discernment counseling is my passion because of the major transformation we can make in as little as one session with the right person's guidance.
Couples who have been agonizing over what to do, come in feeling confused and unsure, and leave with clarity and a plan.
That's powerful work and I'm proud to have helped.
I'm ready to help you. Your first step is to schedule a free phone consult today.
You don't have to know the answer before we talk.
Maybe you're thinking:
"I don't even know if this is the right kind of therapy for us."
That's okay. That's why I offer a free consult.
We'll talk briefly about what's happening in your relationship and whether discernment counseling makes sense for your situation. And if it doesn't, I will help point you in the right direction for what might help you.
Discernment counseling is available in person in St. Louis Park, Minnesota and online throughout Minnesota and Wisconsin.
Address
3387 Brownlow Avenue
St. Louis Park, MN 55416
