Sex Positive 

Mark and Diane have been together for 6 years.  At first, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was like they could never get enough. When they were apart, they were counting the minutes until the could be together again. They both felt the energy was electric between them and the spark was irresistible. 

They both thought this was perfection. Having come from previous relationships where the sex was bland or inconsistent, they thought they found the perfect match. Desire came easy. They both seemed to want it at the same time. And boy, the sex was good. 

So what the hell happened?  Six years later, they can count the times they’ve had sex on one hand. It seems like they both never want to do it at the same time.  Mark feels like he’s always getting rejected. Diane feels like she’s always pressured.  When they talk about it, it always ends up in a fight. They both agree they want it more.  They both agree they want sex to be better.  So why can’t they get there?

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It feels like they’ve tried everything. Diane has looked up different strategies online. They almost always give the same tired advice.  Plan date nights: yes, we’ve done that.  Schedule sex: neither of us want to schedule it. That will take all of the fun and spontaneity out of it. Try role playing: Diane can’t even imagine going there. 

So where’s the good advice?!  Mark and Diane agree they are both frustrated.  If we both want the same things, what’s getting in the way? They decided to give couples counseling a try.  Even though they were both really nervous to talk to a stranger about this intimate problem.  But the first session felt so relieving to finally get it out there! And their therapist talked about how this is a very common and normal situation that occurs with couples. They finally felt like their problems were solvable. That they didn’t need to feel ashamed about sex.

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They started attending therapy weekly and learned more than they thought was possible. How come nobody is talking about sex in this way?!  Mark and Diane began to realize the information and messaging they get about sex from everywhere else is completely misleading.  They both began to feel empowered, strong and knowledgeable about sex.  Not only did this work have a huge impact on their sex life as a couple, but they both felt a higher sense of self-esteem. 
 

If you would like to begin work on learning about sex and removing negative beliefs, no matter your sexuality, sexual preferences or lack of experience, give me a call today.  Your future self awaits.