Hey There

About Me

“We feel like roommates.”

You get home from work and it is pure chaos. One kid is crying and the other is bouncing off the walls. Your wife asks you what you want for dinner.  “I don’t care” you say, thinking you’re being helpful and flexible.  She gives a huffy sigh. 

You think ‘what the hell’s her problem? I just got home.’ You head upstairs to change and she comes in behind you.  “Jackson needs new shoes and Clara has her recital tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” you say. 

“Okay? That’s it?”  You can tell she’s mad but you don’t understand why.  You don’t want to fight but don’t think you deserve all this attitude.

So you respond with “what? Are you mad?”

She says “fine! I’ll just handle it myself! It’s not like I don’t work full-time too or anything!” 

Ah, so that’s it. She thinks you don’t do anything around here. 

“Here we go again. I do nothing and you do everything, right?”  You’re pissed. It’s the same old argument every time.  And it goes nowhere!  Why can’t she just appreciate what you do?  And why does it feel like you guys can’t agree on the smallest of things? 

It feels like you’re just roommates at this point.  Talking about the same mundane shit day after day.  It’s all logistics now and very little feeling. You don’t even remember the last time you kissed.

The rest of the night is a blur. You barely speak to each other except when absolutely necessary.  “I’m taking the dog for a walk.”   It’s sweet reprieve when you’re out of the house.  It’s so tense in there all the time.  All business and no fun.

You both spend the whole of night on your phones.  Not speaking, not interacting, not even acknowledging the other person’s presence in the room.  It sucks. 

Finally, she says “I think we should do couples counseling.”  You’re silent. Part of you agrees. You’re desperate for things to change.  The other part is thinks it’s unneccessary and you guys should be able to figure it out on your own.  But you’ve talked about it over and over. And nothing has changed.  You finally concede.  “Yeah, I think we should too.”

Here’s what you don’t want:

You don’t want this to be weird.  You don’t want to have some breathy voiced goofball asking you how you feel every two seconds.  You don’t want there to be a ton of crying. You don’t want things to get worse.

You don’t want someone to gang up on you and tell you it’s all your fault. You don’t want to spend a ton a time and money and have nothing change. 

Here’s what you do want: 

You want practical advice.  You want to feel like you accomplished something each session.  You want to talk to someone you can picture yourself being friends with.  You want your relationship to improve a lot and you want that to happen quickly.  You want to feel like yourself but better.  You want this to be worth it.  You want to talk to someone who knows what they’re doing so you don’t waste your time.

You’ve come to the right place.  I am an experienced marriage therapist.  I exclusively do couples counseling.  Which is rare in the therapy world, most therapists do a lot of individual counseling and some couples counseling.  I decided to focus my whole practice on it because I love it.

Here’s my story: 

When I was 16, I got a book on psychology.  I didn’t realize the book was about that at the time.  Honestly, I bought it because I liked the pictures on the front.  But from the moment I read that first book about how people think and behave, I was hooked.  From then on, I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

For undergrad, I majored in psychology and communication disorders. After undergrad, I spent time working in inpatient psychiatry on a locked unit in a hospital. This is where people go who are in psychosis, suicidal, extreme depression or having a really hard time. I learned a lot at this job on how to quickly triage issues.  After that, I went to grad school for marriage and family therapy. Pretty quickly, I found out therapists can be super annoying by not being real, by hiding who they are from their clients and by not pushing therapy progress forward.  Frankly, we’re kind of taught all that in school.  They said play it safe, go slow, clients don’t want to know about you.  At first, when I got in front of clients I would do that.  I found myself biting my tongue, holding back, following my instructions to let clients figure it out on their own no matter how long it takes. I saw they were frustrated and I was frustrated. I thought “I know how to help them!” So right away I said fuck this, I’ll just start my own practice and actually show people how to fix their relationships.  I found a type of therapy that does that and have learned everything I can by buying every video, book and going to every conference.  And it has transformed people and their relationships.

Are you ready for your transformation?  Call me now.

Or book your free consultation call with my online booker today.