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Discernment Counseling in St. Louis Park: When One of You Wants Out

  • corrinvoeller
  • Sep 24
  • 2 min read

One of the hardest spots I see couples land in is this: one person is leaning out of the relationship, and the other is hanging on for dear life. That’s not couples counseling territory. That’s discernment counseling territory.

In my office in St. Louis Park, serving the Twin Cities, I’ve guided hundreds of couples through this exact moment. It’s painful, it’s messy, and it’s also one of the most important crossroads you’ll ever face together.

Why Discernment Counseling Works When Regular Therapy Doesn’t

Here’s the truth: if one of you has already got one foot out the door, traditional couples therapy is a waste of time (and money). You can’t build new relationship skills if one person isn’t even sure they want to be in the relationship at all.

Discernment counseling is different. It’s short-term, usually 1–5 sessions, and the whole goal is clarity. You don’t leave wondering. You leave knowing one of three things:

  1. Stay the same (rare, and usually not what people want).

  2. Move toward separation with less chaos and bitterness.

  3. Commit to a structured round of couples counseling to see if real change is possible.

What It Looks Like in Session

When you sit down with me for discernment counseling in St. Louis Park, I’m not going to let you drown in vague “how do you feel about that?” loops. We’ll dig straight into:

  • What brought you here.

  • What each of you is scared of losing.

  • What you actually want your future to look like.

I hold space for both of you, but I also call it like I see it. If the pattern is unsustainable, I’ll say so. If there’s a path to repair, we’ll name it. The point is—no more spinning your wheels.

Why This Matters in the Twin Cities

In Minnesota, there’s a lot of pressure to “just stick it out.” But staying miserable for the sake of appearances doesn’t make anyone a hero—it just makes you burned out. Discernment counseling gives you a safe place to stop pretending and make a decision that’s honest.

Bottom Line

If you and your partner are on the edge and don’t know whether to keep going, discernment counseling in St. Louis Park is the lifeline you need. It’s not about saving or ending your marriage—it’s about making sure whatever happens next is intentional.

 
 
 

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