Couples Counseling in St. Louis Park: Partnership Isn’t 50/50 If You’re Doing 90% of the Work

You’ve heard the cliché: “Marriage is 50/50.” Cute idea. But in reality? For a lot of women I see in my therapy office in St. Louis Park, working with couples across the Twin Cities, it looks more like 90/10.

You’re the one keeping the schedules, remembering the birthdays, planning the meals, folding the laundry, buying the gifts, and managing the emotional tone of the house. Meanwhile, your partner’s contribution is “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Newsflash: that’s not partnership—that’s you being the project manager of your own relationship.

Why the “50/50” Myth Doesn’t Hold Up

Here’s why women get stuck carrying way more than their share:

• Invisible labor. All the mental load no one sees (but everyone relies on).

• Socialization. Men are taught to “help” while women are taught to “manage.”

• Conflict avoidance. It feels easier to do it yourself than start another argument.

• Burnout. You’re too exhausted to even fight about it anymore.

But here’s the kicker: over-functioning doesn’t just exhaust you—it actually teaches your partner to under-function.

How Couples Counseling Helps

When couples come in for couples counseling in St. Louis Park, I don’t hand out chore charts like we’re in third grade. I help you both get real about the imbalance and how it’s wrecking intimacy, trust, and connection.

Therapy helps you:

• Put language to the invisible labor you’re carrying.

• Build systems that feel fair and sustainable.

• Shift from “tell me what to do” to true accountability.

• Reignite respect and attraction (because nobody wants to sleep with their project manager).

Why This Matters in the Twin Cities

Life in Minneapolis–St. Paul is fast, full, and demanding. But just because the world asks you to overfunction doesn’t mean your marriage has to, too. Therapy gives you the space to reset and build a relationship where you’re partners—not manager and employee.

Bottom Line

If you’re doing 90% of the work in your relationship, it’s not a 50/50 partnership. Couples counseling in St. Louis Park can help you name the imbalance, change the pattern, and finally get the partnership you deserve.