Couples Counseling in St. Louis Park: The “Who Does More” Fight

If I had a dollar for every time a couple sat on my couch and argued about chores, I’d retire tomorrow. (Okay, maybe not retire—I’d just finally buy that lake cabin.)

Here’s the truth: when you’re fighting about dishes, laundry, or bedtime routines, it’s not actually about dishes. It’s about fairness. It’s about invisible labor. It’s about one partner feeling like they’re carrying the whole damn relationship while the other gets defensive.

And in my office here in St. Louis Park, serving couples across the Twin Cities, this is one of the top reasons people walk through my door.

Why Household Fights Turn So Ugly

These fights get heated because they’re rarely just about tasks. They’re about meaning.

• Dishes = “I don’t feel respected.”

• Laundry = “I feel invisible.”

• Bedtime routines = “You don’t take me seriously as a parent.”

And when one person says, “Just tell me what to do,” while the other screams, “I don’t want to be your manager!”… whew. You’re officially stuck in the cycle.

How Couples Counseling Actually Helps

When couples come in for couples counseling in St. Louis Park, we don’t waste 50 minutes tallying chores. We zoom out and look at the system.

In session, we:

• Identify the real meaning underneath the arguments.

• Learn tools to divide responsibilities without resentment.

• Stop the scorekeeping spiral before it wrecks intimacy.

• Build communication skills so the fight isn’t the same on repeat.

And if one of you is secretly thinking, “I don’t even know if I want to be here anymore,” that’s when we talk about discernment counseling—because pretending won’t fix anything.

Why This Matters in the Twin Cities

Between long commutes, busy jobs, and family obligations, Twin Cities couples are stretched thin. It’s no wonder you’re fighting about chores—it’s the visible symptom of an invisible load. Therapy gives you the space to untangle the bigger picture so the fight doesn’t keep hijacking your relationship.

Bottom Line

If the “who does more” fight is killing your connection, couples counseling in St. Louis Park can help you stop keeping score and start building a partnership that actually feels fair.